Pride-It’s ok, embrace it!!

So, as a survivor of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I was taught that I am worthless. I was demoralized constantly. It was a HUGE step for me to admit and realize that I am not all negative but that I am worthy of many things and I have a lot to offer. It is so hard though when people take advantage of my good nature.

I’d like to mention my accomplishments which make me proud:

  1. I applied at the Gap many times for two years before acing the interview and working there for over a year. I am proud of my persistence
  2. I decided at 27 years old to become observant of Judaism, completely by my own choice. I was born Jewish but was never practicing. There is so much to learn, so much to gain. It is GIGANTIC for me!! I finally felt part of something real and accepted for who I am. In a world lacking morals, I chose to be real to myself. I am proud of my growth.
  3. At 20 years old, I made the decision to stop talking to my mother. It was her boyfriend who raped me and she protected him. I am most proud of the fact that I realized she will never be mentally well and that there was no room in my life for her. I needed to grow into a positive person and with her in my life, it simply wasn’t possible. I am proud of putting myself first.
  4. At 40 years old, I decided to return to university to finish the degree I started 20 years prior. When I was originally pursuing my degree, let’s just say I wasn’t exactly the studious type (unless you count the study of parties) and I had a constant feeling of regret at not completing my studies. Oh yeah, my major? LEISURE STUDIES, I mean come on, how can I take that seriously??!! My GPA after so many failed classes was 0.75!!! That in itself is an accomplishment. So, yes, last year, I returned to complete my unfinished degree and have only A’s and B’s. I am proud of finishing what I started and proving to myself that I am absolutely not a failure!!! (update: I transferred into Therapeutic Recreation)

Is there something you are proud of that you can post?

Stay with Me

I am new to blogging so please be patient with me.

I published yesterday without finishing so I’m starting this new post

Why am I still here? How am I still moving on? A bit about myself…..I’m 41 and just beginning to heal from the rape I suffered at 9 years old. Ever hear of JCW? It stands for Jewish Comunity Watch and among other things, they help people heal from abuse. JCW came to my city and I was in awe at how someone can stand at the front of a packed room and describe the feelings I had without knowing me. He was able to do this because he too was abused. It was the first time EVER that somebody was able to describe my feelings. It was the first time I was introduced to using the word SURVIVOR instead of victim. It changed everything!

I joined a support group and I started seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma. I was beginning to take care of myself, a novel idea, don’t you think?

I’ll stop here because I would love to know: what started your healing?
I most certainly look forward to hearing from you 😘